I am curious about anal but embarrassed after one drink too many

I am curious about anal sex, but I am embarrassed by how nervous and turned on the thought makes me, even when I know it would need patience and consent. I want to talk about it like an adult instead of turning every need for oral, toys, kink, or dirty talk into a hint. Maybe the confession is not that I want it, but that I am tired of being ashamed of wanting.

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